Wedding invitations are the messengers of our wedding. They are the first detail that is communicated to the guests. In fact, they are often defined as the “business card” of the wedding. They are essential not only because they contain information about the ceremony and the restaurant, but also because they immediately make the tone and style of the wedding clear.
This is why it is really important to make the right choice, the one most similar to our most beautiful day. Here is a guide to the perfect wedding participation.
Perfect for who?
For the two of you, for your wedding, for your guests.
How to choose wedding invitations
Did you know that the more choice options there are, the more confusion is created in our minds?
Often, faced with the great offer we have available, we choose not to choose, taking refuge in the most obvious purchase which we consider less “dangerous”. This is what happened to many couples who contacted me in search of a compass among the infinite possibilities offered by the “world” of invitations and weddings in general.
As a Wedding Planner my main mission is to simplify the different choices that need to be made during the organization of the wedding by proposing the best and above all exclusive solutions for your wedding.
Let’s get started then!
What is the difference between Participation and Invitation?
And here are the first doubts to resolve: what is the difference between Participation and Invitation?
What to choose between Participation and Invitation?
The Participation is the official communication of your Wedding.
The date, time and place of the ceremony, both religious and civil, are announced in the Participation. However, the receipt is not communicated in it. Usually it is the parents of the bride and groom who ask for extra copies because they wish to announce this event to distant relatives or not too close friends. Let’s say that it is a custom from a few years ago, when going to a wedding, if away from home, was very complicated both in terms of distance and costs.
So here’s the difference:
A. Those receiving the participation are required to participate only and exclusively in the Wedding Ceremony and not in the Reception.
Here is an example:
B. Whoever also receives the invitation can enjoy the whole party, from the Ceremony to the Reception, up to the cutting of the cake if not beyond… they can go to the Church (or the Municipality) and taste the delicious dishes of the delicious wedding banquet.
Advice: consider carefully who to send only the Participation to or not!
Today it is no longer used among younger couples, those who receive it sometimes perceive it as an offense “why didn’t you invite me and just send me the invitation?”
Perhaps it is better to let your parents select the names of the people who will only receive participation in the reception but not the invitation to the reception.
New Customs Nowadays, the invitation is often made with the indications of both the Ceremony and the Reception in the same card, without using two separate cards. In common jargon, when the ticket includes both participation in the ceremony and an invitation to the reception, the terms Participation and Invitation are now used interchangeably. It is advisable to know how to make the distinction, in the event that the tickets are separate and therefore we have separate Participation and Invitation.
Here is an example of a complete invitation for both the Ceremony and the Reception: It is possible to create the invitation with or without the RSVP.
In the previous example, the invitation is made with Request for confirmation of presence, the RSVP. In this case, the RSVP will be made on a separate card. In any case, it is always polite, if not obligatory, to confirm or not your presence at a wedding.
Wedding invitations for witnesses Is it necessary to deliver the wedding invitations also for the witnesses?
If you are wondering, the answer is yes. Indeed, a great idea to communicate to your chosen ones that you would like them as witnesses is to create a personalized wedding invitation just for them.
A special edition designed exclusively for them
It is also possible that the spouses want the friends they were unable to invite to the reception to be present at the cutting of the cake and at the following party. In this case it will be possible to provide wedding invitations for cutting the cake. You will have at your side, in a very romantic moment of the evening, all your friends, even the less intimate ones.
A particular choice, possible but you have to pay attention to the timing, so that the moment of cutting the cake does not delay so as to force the new arrivals into an annoying wait. Maybe prepare a buffet that welcomes them and that the guests already present will also go to.
Participation in Plexiglass
The number of wedding guests confirming their attendance is said to be 15% fewer than the couple expected. Don’t be surprised… Attending a wedding is not only tiring but also financially demanding: gift, clothes, shoes, petrol…
You and your future groom be grateful towards your guests and above all pamper them, paying attention to details, such as the mass booklet and coordinated bag. You could plan, if your guests stay overnight in a hotel, to have a gift found in their rooms. Sharing the most important day of your life is not only an honor but requires family organization which can be more or less complex depending on the case.
Gifts for guests For Lucia and Marco’s wedding in Positano, for example, we had some delicious clutch bags containing lemon biscuits, fan, wipes, mini perfume and program found in the guest rooms.
The Rules of Etiquette for Wedding Invitations Let’s not underestimate the rules of etiquette, even if today it seems a little out of fashion. To make your wedding unforgettable you need to know what to say, what to do and how to do it!
What does etiquette “impose” in these cases? Let’s find out together.
What to write in the Wedding Invitations? What text needs to be contained: what information? How to write the names of the spouses? Which name goes first? That of the man or the woman? Where to write the names of the guests? There are many doubts, let’s try to resolve them all.
1. In order of appearance, the information that must be transcribed on the Participations is
name and surname of the two engaged couples: first the name of the Groom and then that of the Bride
Ceremony indications (date, time, place, city)
if you still live with your parents, the address of both families… if you already live together, then the address of your love nest is enough!
When writing information about participation, you should never indicate places and people’s names with abbreviations: p.zza will be written piazza, l.go will be written Largo, M.Pia will be Maria Pia and so on.
Example:
Wedding invitation with address of the spouses Here is an example of an invitation, in which the wedding and the location of the ceremony are announced, with the addresses of the spouses. Writing the address on the invitation is a courtesy for those who want to send a gift or, not coming to the wedding, want to send greetings via telegram.
2. In order of appearance, the information that must be transcribed on the Invitations is:
names, without the surname, of the spouses
address of the restaurant
Wedding InvitationHere is an example of an invitation
New Customs: What we have seen so far concerns the classic rules of etiquette. But, in modern times, something has changed.
Names of the spouses:
It is no longer compulsory to also write the surname of the spouses. It is no longer compulsory to write the groom’s name first and then that of the bride.
Generally the home address is no longer written on the participation. For any contacts it is common practice to write your mobile number on the RSVPs. It is also possible to enter the web address of the site created specifically for the wedding.
Arch-shaped plexiglass invitation_text only_2Plexiglas invitations, both transparent and satin (opaque) can be made in different shapes.
Wedding announcements announced by children: “mum and dad are getting married” In recent years it has happened more and more often that future spouses who have perhaps already lived together for years and already have children, decide to have their wedding announced by their children.
In this case a formula that can be used will be: “mom and dad are getting married”.
The information and methods of writing the information will however be the classic ones, already described. As for the invitation, which is, as we have already seen, the ticket with which the guests are invited to the reception, it will be made by the spouses.
Wedding announcement from the sonRSVP: what does this formula mean? It is mandatory?
The RSVP formula (Répondez s’il vous plait, which in Italian means Please reply) must be included in the invitation: it is used to ask the guests to confirm their participation in the wedding, in particular at the reception.
It can be replaced by a clearer “Kind confirmation is appreciated”.
It is a mandatory part because it is necessary for the entire organization of the reception that the guests confirm their participation in the wedding. We have already seen together that the RSVP can be contained within the invitation, or written on a separate card, which obviously recalls the graphics and style of the participation.
Can the IBAN or business card of the shop where the wedding list was created be included in the wedding invitation?
The answer is no.
NEVER and I say Never enter the IBAN code where you can make the bank transfer or the name of the wedding list shop, nor add the travel agency card. In the latter case you can write the agency’s website in the invitation.
How to communicate the IBAN for the wedding gift? Wedding website A very nice solution is to create a wedding website, or a Facebook page, in which you can create a sort of diary of your wedding and create a specific entry for gifts.
There are now several services that offer this possibility. If you want we can create it together, completely personalized and with the URL chosen by you and easy to remember.
Travel themed invitation with websiteInvitation with travel themed design indicating the website.
Card with IBAN coordinates Another idea is to create a card, smaller than the invitations, specifically dedicated to communicating the IBAN.
In this case it is appropriate to accompany the IBAN with a sentence that expresses your gratitude to friends who choose this option.
Here is an example:
IBAN Card Phrase Idea for Wedding IBAN card with phrase to thank and communicate the bank details
For people who are a little older or who you know do not like technology, the details can be communicated, if requested, when they give you confirmation of participation in the wedding.
It is in fact possible that the guests have already chosen what to give you, inserting the IBAN or ticket from the wedding list shop would be an unpleasant imposition.
Dress Code: how to indicate it in invitations?
If you have decided to organize a wedding with a particular theme or with a predominant colour, perhaps you would like the guests to also be in harmony with the common thread given to the wedding. Here comes the Dress Code to the rescue, the request for a particular attire for the guests. You should indicate this in the invitation, with a wording at the bottom left.
Obviously this is a request, never an obligation.
The words “Formal dress is welcome” should not be necessary. It is assumed that one goes elegantly dressed to weddings. The Dress Code request is more compatible with those specific requests I mentioned before, regarding the need for harmonization with the wedding theme.
Some sentences to indicate the wedding dress code:
“A touch of green is welcome” or whatever color you have chosen. “Informal dress is recommended” or “Wear comfortable shoes” if the wedding is informal or in places where heels are uncomfortable. You can also write: “Dress Code”.
How to deliver the Participations?
In principle, it should be the spouses who go to their guests’ homes or in any case hand-deliver the invitations and personally invite whoever they wish to share the emotion of the most beautiful day with them. When it is not possible to deliver the participations personally, they can be sent by post.
If you decide to hand out the invitations, which as you have seen I recommend, unless it is impossible, a nice idea would be to make the envelope with a lining printed with the invitation graphics.
What to write on the envelope?
The addresses on the envelopes must be handwritten and without giving titles unless the person invited has a Military or Clergy title…
therefore no Prof., Doctor or Engineer but only Dearest Family or Dearest Bortolo Castagneri.
It is also possible to omit the very polite, and leave only Family or the name of the guest.
For mum and dad you can also customize 🙂
ps. However, it is always a good idea to provide envelopes, even if the invitations are delivered by hand
Which paper to choose for participations? Identifying the style of paper to make your announcements/invitations is certainly not easy.
In fact, it is possible to choose the very elegant “pearl paper”, or the Amalfi paper, certainly the most valuable; If, however, your wedding has a more eco-sustainable tone, you can use recycled paper.
Here is the list of types of paper that you can easily find on the market:
• Pearl paper;
• Glossy/matte coated paper;
• Rice paper;
• Amalfi map.
Regardless of the type of paper, what is important is the “weight” or the consistency that you feel when touching the cardboard.
Some time ago, a bride of mine asked me what the “right weight” was for her participation: she was really undecided, she wanted something very elegant. Let’s say that in general the cardboard used should be from 160 g to 300 g. Tip: if you decide to make the participation by hand, then the paper used for the internal printing will be between 120/150 g, the external one from 160 g to 300 g.
When to send wedding invitations? How long in advance does etiquette require them to be delivered? Two months are more than enough, also because your scream of joy will surely have reached overseas and everyone will have known for a long time where, how and when you will get married!
However, etiquette provides for a maximum of three to one month.
Tip: if you are getting married in September it is a good idea to have your invitation delivered before the summer holidays… the end of June is the perfect period.
Wedding invitations dimensionsThe standard format for invitations has these dimensions: 11.5×17.5 cm for the invitations and 11.5×8.5 cm for the invitation. But, as we will see, there are now many types of invitations and wedding suites, the paper coordinates.
Choosing to use the classic format could slightly limit the possibility of personalizing your invitations based on the style chosen for your wedding. You could miss the opportunity to anticipate some details of your wedding and intrigue your guests. A few years ago I introduced laser wedding invitations among the invitations that I suggest to the bride and groom. Beautiful and elegant, they are made with a particular basic technique that allows you to create real embroidery. They can be customized based on colour, paper, graphics and with the accessories you can create true works of art for your wedding. In 2019, the splendid invitations in Plexiglass appeared, which you can find in many models.
They were and still are among the most requested by the future spouses who contacted me.
It will be the transparency that highlights the graphics and colors chosen, it will be the extreme versatility… whatever the reason for their success I can assure you that the result is truly fantastic
Which style to choose for wedding invitations? We know that invitations are the business card of your wedding, the first tool that communicates the style of your reception and therefore it is important that they introduce the mood of the wedding.
Is it a country wedding or do you prefer shabby chic? Do you want them to have a very formal tone or to characterize the entire reception with a predefined colour?
Shabby chic style details: a little lace in shades of white or powder pink is essential
Country chic: use jute to give a little character
Formal: the white Amalfi paper and the initials are definitely the chic touch you were looking for
Colourful: you can indulge yourself with colours, wisteria, red… or opt for the classic and timeless ivory and elegant white
Theme: it is possible to create a particular design that recalls a specific topic such as travel, creating a mock-up of a plane ticket, or music with a vinyl record or anything your imagination suggests
Sophisticated: to add an extra touch of class to your invitations you could use a light point that perhaps recalls a detail of your wonderful dress, or satin and organza ribbon. I must say that in this way you will give a decidedly elegant style to your invitations.
Do you need some ideas? contact me and I will be happy to create the Perfect Participation for you
Whatever decision you make on the style to give to your wedding and your invitations, the paper coordinates must follow the chosen mood.
The Tableau de maraige, the menu, the place cards, the cards for the wedding favors and the thank you notes will be a harmonious whole ready to play a single symphony: that of the design of your wedding. You can consult me and I will be able to offer you lots of ideas for stationery to coordinate with invitations, boxes and favors etc.
Virtual or electronic wedding invitations.
In recent years, various services have been created that offer the possibility of sending letters participations via message, whatsapp or email. Participation is digital, created in pdf. It is also possible to have a service from a professional graphic designer who will be able to create the virtual participation you desire. It’s an idea that doesn’t excite me, even if there is the undeniable advantage of both ecological and economic savings. But it doesn’t seem like an excellent business card for your wedding, unless the theme is technology. A virtual wedding invitation would be nice to add to the real one. This way you could personalize it in a way that paper wouldn’t allow you, perhaps by inserting a video. A video reception would be something to share with the more tech-savvy guests. 2020, with the need for video calls to feel closer, has made videos on tablets and iPhones popular, even the older ones now know how to do it and could enjoy watching your invitation. However, I want to repeat it: in my opinion only in addition to real participation.
How much do wedding invitations cost?
To organize a wedding you need to have a budget, modest or exaggerated depending on what you want to do and the number of guests… but you still need to have a budget. Participations obviously also have a cost and, as you are now used to hearing from all suppliers, it is not a standard cost but it depends.
Let’s see what it depends on…
• the amount;
• the type of paper, as we have read in the previous paragraphs;
• the type of printing, embossed or laser… which costs more? Certainly the one in relief even if we must admit the difference is notable!;
• how many colors you decide to print, whether four-colour or just one colour; the stamps if they are priority mail or if destined abroad, or no cost by hand delivery….
If you don’t want to invest a lot on this expense then I advise you to prefer the classic format, i.e. large rectangular card for the invitation and the smaller one for the invitation. This type of choice should not involve a large expense, unless you choose the most valuable material, if you do not emboss the initials or perhaps the entire announcement, and do not add precious details which obviously raise the price. Let’s say that in this case we will have a cost range that can vary from 0.70 cents each, including printing, to 1.80, depending on the printer.
Obviously there is never a limit for the maximum price…
Tip: if you want a good participation you should budget €3.00 and up. It is also possible to opt for handmade ones, beautiful in their imperfection but not always cheaper… I find them more chic and more suitable for weddings because they are unique.
Thanks and Save the date
Let’s start with thanks…
Did someone give you a gift but didn’t attend the wedding? Have you received bouquets of flowers at home or telegrams of greetings?
Here you need to send a thank you note to all these people. It is a kind of business card where there are the bride’s name, the groom’s name and the married surname, therefore that of the husband. You can decide to have the word “Thank You” printed or nothing. I recommend this last option, i.e. just the Bride’s Name, Groom’s Name and Married Surname, and you reserve the right to use the card in the future by attaching it as a greeting card
When is it done?
In theory, this is done for relatives who live far away or abroad, and need to book the plane or other means of transport well in advance. You don’t need to indicate location and restaurant, just date and city…
Save the date is used to “stop the date” and ask your guests not to make other commitments. Today it is done not only in paper format but also with videos, photos, objects and everything that can come to mind for you or your wedding planner.
In the Save the Date you must enter the date and city… as well as obviously the name of the bride and groom!!!
Here we are at the end of this guide. It has been a long journey done together. If you need help with your wedding, don’t hesitate to contact me and together we will choose the best solutions for you.
